We hosted Marketingland this year with 10,000+ registrants, I’ve spoken at INBOUND in front of thousands of people, and I’ve keynoted conferences, BUT I STILL GET TONS OF STAGE FRIGHT. In fact, it’s the hardest thing for me. I’m really, really shy.
TONS OF STAGE FREIGHT. I’m talking full-on panic attack every time. (It’s true, ask Ari – she’s a saint).
But I still go speak. Why?
Because growth comes from the uncomfortable. And it builds authority for you or your company.
Soooo here are my two cents on how to overcome that stage fright and crush it in front of everyone. It doesn’t get easier, but you do get better. And, that counts if you ask me.
Reframe your nerves as excitement. This little mindset trick is a lifesaver. Your body doesn’t know the difference between nerves and butterflies, so tell yourself those jitters are just excitement, and your brain will start to believe it. You’re not scared—you’re pumped!
Before EVERY session, I will say my entire talk to my wife, friends, whoever I am with, the day of speaking. We practiced our INBOUND talk the morning of INBOUND in front of my father-in-law because he can’t hide his facial expressions and I needed our audience to be tough LOL.
It’s so simple, but it gives me confidence that I’ve already delivered the talk out loud in front of people. So by the time I hit the stage, it doesn’t feel like the first time. It feels like I’m just running through it again. My friend Vince gave me that tip, and I really appreciate it. HELPS A LOT.
Ground yourself before you speak. Backstage, when those nerves hit hard, I do something physical to get out of my head. Deep breaths, feeling my feet solid on the ground, maybe clenching and releasing my fists—it’s about focusing on the physical, not the mental.
Now there IS something called over-practicing when it comes to your speech.
You should practice to the point where you’ve got your key hitting points locked down, but DO NOT MEMORIZE YOUR SPEECH.
Why? Because when you memorize, you start sounding robotic, and your authenticity goes out the window. No one wants that. People connect with you, not some perfectly rehearsed version of you.
Start with energy. The next few pieces of advice come from Jay Schwedelson, who is hands down the best public speaker I personally know (other than Ari, she CRUSHES on stage). Jay always tells me, BORING IS BAD.
Come out strong with energy.
And where a lot of speakers slip up is that they start their talk all about themselves—their title, their accomplishments, their resume. Snooze fest.
INSTEAD, start your talk by focusing on the audience’s pain points.
Talk about the pain they’re feeling. That way, you immediately hook them because they feel seen. THEN hit them with how your talk is going to solve that pain. That’s how you get people invested right off the bat.
And listen—don’t save your best stuff for later. In the first 90 seconds (NOT the first five minutes), you NEED to give them something juicy. A stat, a tip—whatever it is, make it top-tier. Give them a reason to sit up and say, “Okay, this is worth my attention.”
Now, pause. Seriously, once you’ve hooked them, take your time. Don’t rush. Pauses are powerful. They let your audience digest what you’ve said and make you look like you’re in total control. Plus, it gives you a moment to breathe and center yourself.
Okay, you’ve got them hooked—then what? Do you introduce yourself now? Yes, but keep it brief. Just enough to remind the audience why they’re there and why you’re the one giving this talk.
Even though it might feel like you need to sell yourself to the audience, you DON’T NEED TO.
What you need to do is sell them on your content. That’s what will get them bought in on you. People don’t care as much about your resume as they do about what value you’re bringing to their life.
Another piece of advice from Jay: DO NOT stand behind a podium. Move. Use your arms, your body—ANY movement gets your audience engaged.
It gives them something to look at and makes the talk feel dynamic.
And last thing—you’ve got this. Those nerves are totally normal. They never fully go away, but the more you speak, the more you’ll learn to channel them into energy that works for you, not against you. It’s all part of the process.
P.S. Tune in to the the Podcast Episode we did on this: HERE.
P.P.S. 1 more tip. My father-in-law is a lawyer and he doesn’t drink coffee before court. EVER. He says that on the day, his nerves already power him and coffee would make him too intense, and add too much adrenaline. So, no coffee for me on any public speaking days. EVER. Hope this helps.
^ this was us right after we got off stage. Look at the relief on my face LOL. I STILL HATE IT BUT I DO IT AND YOU SHOULD, TOO.
